Looking for my gifts, finding my wages...

I will start by saying, I have not blogged since April. No excuses really- just doing other things. I am going to make it a goal to blog every Fri. Even if it is boring, and mundane. That being said, I am going to admit that this summer has been a struggle for me. I never wanted to be one of "those moms". You know the kind. The ones that say, " I can't wait for school to start again". But, that's exactly who I've turned out to be. Sometimes I am not sure that I am cut out for this job. The wages are low, if not invisible. My job is high stress, monotonous, and never ending. I don't get weekends off, and I work about 19 hours a day. I don't get bathroom breaks by myself, and I am in high demand every second I am awake (and many that I am asleep). Such is the life of a stay-at-home mother to 4 right? I know that there are many who would love to stay at home and be with their children. So, I have decided to attempt something very out of my character. I am going to try every day to look for my gifts, and search out my wages. There has to be something everyday that makes this all worth while. Monday was an especially hard day. The children were at their worst. They fought, yelled, hit, lied, disobeyed, and demanded all day long. After they were in bed, and I could breathe, I realized something. I looked up at my Entertainment cabinet and saw these pretty wild flowers that the kids had brought me after I had chased them outside. I took them at the time and placed them around my candelabra to make them happy. They were so proud of themselves. It was just another thing for me to do at the time, so I took them reluctantly, but with a smile. But, that evening I remembered this song that a dear woman at church sang one Mothers Day. Patti Govero made me cry that morning singing "A Handful of Weeds". It's such a touching song and I thought of it when I looked up and saw those flowers. I realized that those were my gifts for the day. My payment for my hard work and desperation was a handful of weeds, and they were beautiful. I snapped a picture and decided that I would look every day for my payment. Some days it may not come until I have some peace to think about my day. But, I am hopeful that it will be there amongst the chaos. Tuesday Tommy drew me a picture. This one depicted Tommy and I holding hands. He gave it to me and wanted me to hang it up on my bulletin board. When I went to hang it, I realized there was no more room! Then I realized this was my gift of the day. My children are very creative, crafty, and love to give their projects away. I like to think they get that from me! So, I snapped a pic of my wages for the day, My children's art work, that they had made especially for me! I feel very special that they took the time to make me something from their hearts. Those of you that know me, realize that this optomism is out of the box for me. This could be a welcome change in a new direction. Below are the lyrics for "Handful of Weeds" by Sherri Easter. Read the words and let them touch your heart.

Handful of Weeds
Four years old, with dirt on my face
I'd been out in the yard
pickin dandelions all day
I burst through the front door
when I'd gathered enough
to give to my mom, to show her my love
when I held out my hands
she looked down at me,she said
I've never seen flowers
as beautiful as these

she's the one
who told me about Jesus
she's the one
who taught me to sing
she deserves, an armful of roses
she's satisfied with a handful of weeds

Now that I'm older and out on my own
I wish I could find more time
to make it back home
I couldve done better, I know in my heart
than to scribble a note
on a last minute card

And then she calls on the phone
and the first thing she says
is I've read this card over and over again

she's the one
who told me about Jesus
she's the one
who taught me to sing
she deserves, an armful of roses
she's satisfied with a handful of weeds

She's always known
what true love means
and I want her to know
what she means to me !

she's the one
who told me about Jesus
she's the one
who taught me to sing
she deserves, an armful of roses
she's satisfied with a handful of weeds

She's more than satisfied, with a handful of weeds.
....